There's been quite a lot of research done recently looking at teenagers and their views on sex and relationships, and while the majority of teens have healthy relations there's a small but significant rise in violence and humiliation and research has been testing whether there's a link to hard core porn. I think so - I can't see how there can't be.
Not so long ago it was really difficult for young people to view soft porn - now children as young as 10 are accessing the hard stuff on who know what kind of basis. This material is shocking to most adults and is framing the references of young people - people who are undeveloped themselves growing up with these images and ideas about what sex is.
There was a study done a few years ago on boys' attitudes to girls - many admitted they didn't know girls had pubic hair, breasts that weren't enormous and round and identical etc and so on. They were shown pictures of real breasts and couldn't believe what they looked like. This isn't harmless - it's humiliating for girls and as a result many want a boob job for their 16th birthday - there must be a connection, why else would they consider it.
As a parent I'm always considering what I will tell my daughter about life, and when. It's a hard idea to get to grips with when I want her to understand about porn from me rather than her peers to avoid any confusion.
How do you start that conversation?
Yep - porn doesn't seem quite as 'natural' when one's 10 year-old's looking at it, does it?
ReplyDeleteI don't know the best way to broach it...early enough for them to accept you at face value, I suppose. Any later and it may well be misread as an attempt to stifle people's sexuality...
I think it's the sort of thing that fits into the way you parent, you'll always be letting her know that people are equal, adverts are crap, the way women are portrayed is usually wrong and eventually you'll come round to porn and what it's all about and why to pay it no heed. I reckon you'd know when the time is right.
ReplyDeleteI have seen one of those things though where school boys were shown pictures of fake boobs and real boobs and they all thought the fake ones were best and the real ones were strange. Very sad....